December 22nd, 2022
4 min read

Holidays aren’t always a happy time.

Written by Simon Spichak

For many around the world, the holidays are a time to rest and reconnect with friends and family. However, that experience is far from universal. Some experience the holiday blues: sadness or negative feelings that pop up during the holiday season.

Feelings of sadness, loneliness, and depression may become amplified in November or December. Don’t worry though, you’re not the only one that experiences these feelings. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, more than 64 percent of people with a mental health condition report their symptoms worsening during the holidays.

The holiday season brings back memories of loved ones that passed. They can make you cringe and ruminate on your perceived failures. They may be a lonely time for people who don’t have a supportive family. But the holiday blues are seldom acknowledged because nobody wants to be a buzzkill.

Below we outline the causes, signs, and coping strategies for the holiday blues.

Learning About the Holiday Blues

There are many factors that contribute to the holiday blues. It is important to understand that there is nothing inherently bad or wrong with you if you’re not feeling festive. Here are reasons you or your friends might be feeling down:

High or unrealistic holiday expectations
Loneliness, isolation, and grief
Financial stress, worrying about affording gifts on top of rent
Difficult relationships with your family
Rumination and over-critical self-reflection
Overwhelming feelings of failure

Signs of the holiday blues

There are lots of signs to look out for. It manifests in both physical and psychological ways. This includes:

Feelings of sadness and hopelessness
Apathy or lack of joy
Wanting to stay in bed and do nothing
Changes in sleeping or eating habits
Trouble concentrating
Extreme exhaustion
Headaches
Constant feelings of guilt or worthlessness
Feeling like you’re an impostor

Is it depression or the holiday blues?

It is important to differentiate the holiday blues from seasonal affective depression (SAD). The holiday blues occur predominantly in November and December while SAD occurs between the late-fall and early spring. The symptoms of SAD may often be more severe or debilitating.

If the symptoms last past the holiday season, you may want to speak with your doctor.

Coping with the Holiday Blues

In most cases, you can’t get rid of the holiday blues easily. Unlike the snow on the road, you can’t simply shovel these thoughts and symptoms out of the way. But there are plenty of strategies that help alleviate the symptoms. Try a few different ones to see what works best for you. Remember, with mental health there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

Tip #1: Prioritize yourself

We know, we know. There’s a ton of pressure and perfectionism surrounding the holidays. Whether it’s putting up all the decorations, keeping up with all the friends, or trying to get through a family dinner.

If at all possible - set out healthy boundaries so that you prioritize your own health. We aren’t saying you should withdraw from festive activities but rather focus on keeping up with your regular sleep, diet, and exercise schedule. Work on saying no or limiting how much time you spend in potentially triggering social situations.

Tip #2: Reach out for social support

Reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, or a peer support group. Let someone else know how you’re feeling. It will be helpful for you to know that you aren’t alone, and that others may experience similar feelings. Spending time with loved ones may distract from some of the holiday blues.

Tip #3: Focus on activities that bring you joy

As tough as it may be, push through the apathy. Try doing the things that bring you joy whether it is petting a cat, reading a book, or doing another hobby. They don’t need to be festive or even holiday related. Hopefully, this helps you focus on things besides the holidays.

Takeaway

The holiday blues are more common than you might think. If you already have a mental health condition, there’s a good chance you’ll feel down this season. By recognizing the signs and symptoms, and prioritizing yourself over holiday expectations, you can better cope with these feelings. Remember, ask your friends or family for help if that’s an option. If you find the feelings persist or particularly severe, you may want to speak with a psychotherapist.

Please note that this post is written for educational purposes, it is not therapy. If you need to talk to a professional please book a consultation with a psychotherapist through Resolvve.

Coping With the Holiday Blues