Homesickness is a very common experience for students living away from home for the first time. This article provides evidence-based strategies to cope with the feelings.
Written by Simon Spichak, MSc, Co-Founder of Resolvve
The first year of classes for many university students is the first time they’re living away from home. They may be living in a new city, new province, or new country far away from the comforts of home.
Moving into the dorm or a new apartment can feel lonely. You might see other people laughing, bonding, and hanging out, while you struggle to adjust.
“One of the things that can be very hard is that you’re around different people,” says Resolvve therapist Meira Gastfreund, RP(Q). “You’re not with your family and friends you always had growing up and that can make you feel lonely.”
If you’re feeling homesick, you’re not alone. It’s an extremely common feeling that around 70% of first year students experience. Fortunately, there’s ways to step outside of your comfort zone that could help you overcome these feelings and set yourself up for success.
What is Homesickness?
Homesickness is caused by the emotional distress of being far from family, friends, and a familiar environment. It can be mild, manifesting as loneliness and detachment resolves on its own. In some cases, it’s severe and leads students to withdrawal from social activities.
The signs of homesickness include:
- Constant thoughts about home and returning home
- Feeling pessimistic about starting the new school year and living on your own
- Trouble sleeping
- Loss of appetite
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling anxious, irritable, or depressed
- Loneliness
Why the First Few Weeks are the Hardest
Being thrust into a new environment when the brain doesn’t easily adapt to these changes. Often, you might even feel worse after a week or two because some of the initial adrenaline and excitement of moving away begins to wear off.
For the first time, you need to figure out a new routine. “Being away from home means you’re in charge of everyday tasks: Going shopping for food, taking care of laundry, and cleaning,” says Resolvve therapist Yossef Kurtz, RSW.
The pressure of making new friends, academic worries and stress, and all the extra responsibilities become overwhelming. But as you begin to forge new connections and slowly adapt to these changes, the feelings of homesickness will become less intense and typically dissipate — though the timing is different for everyone.
Coping with Homesickness
1. Let Yourself Feel It
Suppressing homesickness doesn’t make it go away. Take some time to feel sad and journal about the specific things that you miss. Name the emotions you’re feeling out loud which can help them feel less overwhelming. Remember, many of the other students around you are also feeling homesick too.
“Embrace the newfound independence and the uncertainty and anxiety that comes with it,” says Kurtz. “Sometimes it’s difficult but remember that independence also comes with flexibility.”
2. Bring Reminders of Home into the New Space
Whether it’s a dorm room or apartment, bring a little piece of home with you. Your favorite mug or blanket, photos of family and friends, your favourite candles. Incorporate routines that make it feel like home like eating dinner at the same time. These little bits of familiarity will help you adjust to the new environment.
3. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Look for low-stakes activities, like meet & greets on the dorm room floor. “Push yourself to get out there,” says Gastfreund. Whether that’s sports or other extracurriculars that you’re interested in already, she encourages students to get involved.
4. Stay Connected to Home
Set up scheduled times to call your family. Rather than calling whenever you’re upset, practice sitting with discomfort and wait until the scheduled call. Make sure to share what’s going well with your family, and not just the complaints and challenges. To speed up the acclimation, some students avoid going home during the first month.
5. Get Out of Your Room
Walk around the campus or the neighbourhood. Stroll through the cafes, the libraries, and the green spaces to take in your new environment. Go for a walk in a nearby park which could help reduce your levels of stress and anxiety, while making you feel more connected.
6. Don’t Wait for a Crisis to Ask for Help
Don’t forget to talk to new friends, residence advisors, and counselors at your new university if you’re feeling overwhelmed or like things are spiraling out of control. There’s nothing wrong with being homesick, but sometimes you need a hand to help you adjust.
How Resolvve Can Help
If the homesickness doesn’t start to dissipate after a few weeks, or it’s significantly affecting your sleep, academics, or eating habits it might be time to reach out for support.
Resolvve’s therapists have experience working with university students in Ontario to help them take their mental health challenges head-on. Using a variety of different therapeutic modalities, our therapists will focus on building up distress tolerance and teaching you healthy coping strategies to lessen the isolation, anxiety, and loneliness.
As a university student, you may be covered under a supplemental insurance plan, which could offset most of the cost of the therapy session — which means you might not need to pay the full cost out of pocket. If you’re ready to take the next step, book a free 15-minute consultation with a therapist today.